SHITPOSTx20; OPEN

[incelligent]

I've got a question.

CONFIRM/DENY:

Horny (adj.) The state of having or possessing horns, somewhere on the person of someone or something.
Example: That big ol' rhinocerous right there? He's one horny guy.

P.S. Horn (n.) Not to be mistaken for a horned instrument. Think 👿 not 🎺
P.P.S. A rhinocerous or "rhino" for short is a mammal with thick skin and ivory tusks (horns) found in specific regions of my home world. For those of you who may not know what they are, here's a picture for reference. See what I mean? Big horny guys!

[*This post is open for anyone and all voicetesting! Take it as an old Meadowlark network post with the simon.laurent handle, or anywhere on the interdimensional interwebs. Love you all! Hope you're staying safe.]

Comments

[lifetothefullest]

What happened?

[Is he asking for context so he can be helpful? Yes. He is also asking because he wants to hear whatever the ridiculous story might be? Also yes.]

i just realize how bad this sounds without context

[incelligent]

I made a new friend?

[This is not untrue.]

as all the best shitpost conversations do

[lifetothefullest]

That gives me more questions, not less.

[incelligent]

He's, like, part demon?

And somehow he didn't have to make a deal with the devil to get all these crazy cool powers!!!

[why does this sound like someone recounting their first tinder date ASDLFKAJSDF]

Most of of 'em are nerfed right now, but, sounds neat, right?

[No? No.]

[lifetothefullest]

[Just parsing through that for the important takeaway here--]

I'm guessing that, being part demon, he had horns?

[incelligent]

Yes!

Ehm. Sometimes.

[simon why are you getting bashful? wtf]

[lifetothefullest]

[Okay, this is all making sense now. Mostly.]

"Horned" is usually the descriptor for an individual or animal that has horns. "Horny" is still technically correct and means the same thing, but the slang meaning is much more common and what people typically think of, which is what I assume prompted your question to begin with.

[incelligent]

Geez, do you just know, like, everything?

[Simon appreciates it, even if he's being a whiny little bitch right now.]

It's almost spooky sometimes.

[And just to make things a little more whimsical:]

👻

[lifetothefullest]

No, but I like to pretend like I do.

I'll take being a spooky ghost. Better than being like, a sad ghost or something; that's just depressing.

[Joke's on everyone, he is a sad ghost.]

Just for the record, it's fine not to necessarily know every piece of slang you encounter. It changes really quickly and it's different in different worlds anyway.

[incelligent]

[Lance! He always knows just what to say.]

Ugh. I'm tired of feeling like a freak and not knowing anything! I'm not that weird and I'm not stupid.

[Sits on hands.]

But nobody from my world seems to have ever showed up.

[lifetothefullest]

[He tries, anyway.]

I know you're not. I think people forget that we're all from different places, since a lot of things are shared between them, but we should all keep in mind that we don't know the same things.

They still might. It's always really unpredictable.

[incelligent]

[And this is much of the reason that Simon gravitates towards Lance.

Perhaps it's foolish, but every time that Simon feels like a failure, or is frustrated with the very banalities of human interaction, Lance has some kind of answer or platitude that makes him feel better.

Even moreso, he actually seems to mean it.]

Lance?

[He thinks of others who made or make him feel similarly secure.

Wade. Shinobu. Fenris.

John.]

What do you do when you're feelin' like...

You're all by yourself? Even when there's people around, like...

[Simon lets out a small, sad chuckle.]

And when I say you, I mean you. Lance.

Not Mr. Nice Guy. Or whoever it is you're supposed to be when you're answerin' all my crazeball questies.

[Please just say questions.]

[lifetothefullest]

[Oof, that's a question. It's also a question that Lance thinks he--Lance, himself, not the psychologist who academically knows the right answers--may not be the best person to ask, but he doesn't really want to get into that.

So he hesitates a few seconds before he can figure out exactly how he wants to answer, especially since Simon specifically asked for genuine, personal advice. Though, speaking of that--]

Hey, I like to think Lance and Mr. Nice Guy are the same person like, 80% of the time.

[The rest of the time not so much, but whatever. And okay, getting serious again--]

It really just depends. There's different kinds of being alone, and some of them can only be fixed by making connections with people, but with others it's more about just being okay with it. Being alone isn't always a bad thing.

[incelligent]

Well, you are a nice guy.

You spend, like, all of your time helpin' people.

[That last piece of advice does get Simon thinking.]

I guess I do love me some good old fashioned Simon Time.

[Simon Time. Gosh, revolting.]

That's when I get to writin', or... Painting my miniatures.

That is nice. I just sorta get to be me. Without anybody calling me a dork or whatever.

[lifetothefullest]

Thanks.

[He'd argue that he doesn't spend all his time helping people, but he's learning to just take compliments and then promptly deflect.]

Exactly. It's nice to have time to yourself to do what you want to do, to not be focusing on interacting with other people, and generally just be yourself. Being okay with being with yourself--and being okay with who you are--makes it a lot easier to handle it when you feel alone.

[incelligent]

But see, that's the thing!

I'm okay with who I am.

[no ur not honey]

It's just that other people aren't.

[um, also, who you are is disgusting??? simon. simon ratfink laurent]

[lifetothefullest]

[Somehow that's not even a little convincing.]

If you're okay with who you are, then why do you care if other people aren't?

[incelligent]

Because it's a pain in the

[Lance would be right about that.]

Ugh! Gosh.

I'd just like to be able to go around doin' the things that make me happy without all the, y'know... Judgment?

[Simon, one of those hobbies is straight up train murder.]

Like, okay! So my hobbies are a little specific. And yeah! I like to be prepared for stuff. How does that automatically make me a dork?

[lifetothefullest]

People are always going to judge. Sometimes they'll even judge the same thing completely opposite ways at different times, depending on how it suits them.

[This happens to him a lot; it's annoying as hell, so he very much gets the complaint, but--]

You can't control what other people think about you. It's easier said than done, but as long as you're not hurting anyone then keep doing whatever hobbies make you happy.

[incelligent]

You always make everything sound so easy.

[Straightforward. Like it just makes so much sense. Also, that first comment? A callout, though Simon doesn't realize it.]

Like... Do you even get lonely? I

[Simon doesn't realize it's just because Lance doesn't really... Show it.]

I don't even know.

[lifetothefullest]

Almost everyone gets lonely, at least sometimes.

[And he could leave it at that, because indeed he just doesn't like to show that sort of thing; it's so easy to give too much away, and almost always more to his advantage to maintain the appearance of knowing what he's talking about academically but not personally.

But that's one of those things he's been trying to do less, and so after a moment he continues.]

I'm good at making it sound easy because I have a lot of practice. If you're alone a lot, whether because you don't know anyone or you can't find people who accept you or whatever other reason, learning to handle it--even as much as that might suck--is better than the alternatives.

[incelligent]

No it's not!

[He may be talking about the Train, or even before.

But Simon knows what's that is like.]

It's not.

That's a lie.

Being alone is just the worst. Like, not physically? But

[It's why being here in New Amsterdam is so hard.]

Like in your heart.

It's awful. There's nothing there! All you have is yourse

[Shit, shit, shit.]

Nobody.

[lifetothefullest]

There are going to just be times when you're alone, and that's part of life; you can't make people stay with you, or care about you, or anything else, and you can't always control what happens to you either.

That's why you have to be able to be okay with only having yourself, at least during times when you're in-between finding the people you belong with. But those times don't last forever.

[Sometimes they last far longer than they should, but they always end.]

[incelligent]

But to be okay with yourself, y... you

[Oof. Is this a breakthrough? This might actually be a breakthrough.]

You have to be a good person. And! I am a good person. I know that! I'm doing somethin' important, to help other people, other kids who were lost like me...

[But then why is being alone, really being alone, without Grace or the Apex-]

But I guess, sometimes, in my heart like I said before...

It just doesn't feel that way.

But that's stupid. Like, seriously.

It can't be true.

[lifetothefullest]

[Honestly it's more self-awareness than a whole lot of people Lance talks to have.]

Even the best people aren't 'good' all the time, and being a 'good person' is a very broad category. It isn't the same for everyone, and good people can still do things they aren't proud of. In fact, most do, at least occasionally.

If sometimes you don't feel like a good person, it's okay to really think about and consider why that is. If it's something you think you've done wrong then you can fix it, and if it's just your brain playing tricks on you then you can learn to recognize that.

But if there are things about yourself that truly make you unhappy with who you are, that doesn't make you a bad person. It just means you're still improving, and that you care to improve means a lot in itself.