simon ratfink laurent 🐀 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
incelligent) wrote2021-02-22 08:50 pm
incelligent) wrote2021-02-22 08:50 pm
Entry tags:
SHITPOSTx20; OPEN
I've got a question.
CONFIRM/DENY:
Horny (adj.) The state of having or possessing horns, somewhere on the person of someone or something.
Example: That big ol' rhinocerous right there? He's one horny guy.
P.S. Horn (n.) Not to be mistaken for a horned instrument. Think 👿 not 🎺
P.P.S. A rhinocerous or "rhino" for short is a mammal with thick skin and ivory tusks (horns) found in specific regions of my home world. For those of you who may not know what they are, here's a picture for reference. See what I mean? Big horny guys!
[*This post is open for anyone and all voicetesting! Take it as an old Meadowlark network post with the simon.laurent handle, or anywhere on the interdimensional interwebs. Love you all! Hope you're staying safe.]
CONFIRM/DENY:
Horny (adj.) The state of having or possessing horns, somewhere on the person of someone or something.
Example: That big ol' rhinocerous right there? He's one horny guy.
P.S. Horn (n.) Not to be mistaken for a horned instrument. Think 👿 not 🎺
P.P.S. A rhinocerous or "rhino" for short is a mammal with thick skin and ivory tusks (horns) found in specific regions of my home world. For those of you who may not know what they are, here's a picture for reference. See what I mean? Big horny guys!
[*This post is open for anyone and all voicetesting! Take it as an old Meadowlark network post with the simon.laurent handle, or anywhere on the interdimensional interwebs. Love you all! Hope you're staying safe.]
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But practically... No?
[Meaning he's never met them.]
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My parents were older, so I didn't know any grandparents either.
[Not for the same reason it seems, but he offers the comment so that Simon hopefully doesn't feel put on the spot and the exchange is more even.]
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Mostly, they smell funny, hug you so tight that you can't really breathe anymore, and tell you you're "handsome" even though they've got a crazy strong prescription and can barely see two feet in front of 'em.
[SIMON THAT IS REALLY RUDE...]
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Maybe that's why they do the hugging, so they can get you close enough to see.
aSDFLKAFASFJASKDFJ SIMON....
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IMM LIKE CRY LAUGHING THIS IS SO AWFUL
The smell gets worse the closer they are.
THEY'RE DUMB AS HELL
Is it better or worse than being hugged by someone with too much perfume on?
HOW IS THIS GETTING WORSE
Mostly 'cause... I'm pretty sure with perfume you can just wash the stink off.
I dunno if you can really do that with the Stench of Ye Olde™.
BECAUSE NO ONE'S STOPPING THEM
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Didn't take you for that kind of secret agent.
[BRUH 💀💀💀💀
wink wonk]
Then again, you do always manage to surprise me.
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[Now he's just being irritating on purpose.]
Or guy! Or, y'know what, could be an alien sharkmonster for all I know.
[Because um... With everything he's seen here... That's a possibility.]
You got a type or somethin'?
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An alien sharkmonster would be pretty cool.
[But deflection aside, he could lie. He could even tell half the truth and probably get away with it no problem. But isn't he trying not to do that so much?]
My girlfriend doesn't wear terrible perfume, I just get randomly hugged by people during cases sometimes.
[He's also ignoring the question about if he has a type, because he definitely does and is also not getting into it.]
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[Wow literally everybody is spoken for except for him. Wtf?
And then, more sincerely (wow this is real progress here, a sign of how much he Actually Likes Lance):]
What's she like?
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Yeah. Her name's Daisy.
She's really smart, and really... Vibrant, I guess, is a good word. Like I have no idea how she has so much energy all the time, but she's always just so into whatever she's working on or whatever puzzle she's trying to solve.
She's also a genuinely kind person, all the time, even when she's worried or upset.
[He hasn't seen her in years now, and misses her so much.]
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To Simon, their names sound like they make sense together. So his other half, too, is the talkative one. The flashier one, more vibrant and outgoing.
He doesn't realize it, but being in this place has brought him out of his narrow-minded fog, at least slightly. Ever so slightly. He's finally beginning to feel-]
You must really miss her.
[Bad.]
How long've you guys been together?
You don't have to answer if you don't wanna. I... Get how that kinda thing might mess you up.
[is this personal growth holy shit]
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He does notice the thoughtfulness of Simon's last comments, and he appreciates them, but this question is okay to answer.]
We've known each other for about seven years, but only dated for I think five of that.
[They were so very on-again-off-again, but it had worked for them. And they were always 'off' because of Lance's decisions, which is something he's very aware of.]
What about you? Is there someone you like?
[Girl, boy, alien sharkmonster, whatever.]
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He's known Grace for eight. At the sound of that, he replies, as though it were a kneejerk response-]
No.
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That might be a good thing, considering the whole situation of being here.
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[Ooh, look who is bitter and opening up anyway.]
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christ
[He means it sincerely, even though his mind is going elsewhere.]
That helps.
[If he doesn't get what he wants naturally, well, perhaps he'll just become strong enough to take it by force.]
s i m o n
You're welcome. I mean, I know it sucks when everyone else around you is dating or in love or something, but it doesn't last forever, especially when you're only what, eighteen?
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[ADKFLJ HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW THIS SOUNDS]
A little appreciation now and then would be nice.
[Yes, Lance. He is eighteen.]
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