SHITPOSTx20; OPEN

[incelligent]

I've got a question.

CONFIRM/DENY:

Horny (adj.) The state of having or possessing horns, somewhere on the person of someone or something.
Example: That big ol' rhinocerous right there? He's one horny guy.

P.S. Horn (n.) Not to be mistaken for a horned instrument. Think 👿 not 🎺
P.P.S. A rhinocerous or "rhino" for short is a mammal with thick skin and ivory tusks (horns) found in specific regions of my home world. For those of you who may not know what they are, here's a picture for reference. See what I mean? Big horny guys!

[*This post is open for anyone and all voicetesting! Take it as an old Meadowlark network post with the simon.laurent handle, or anywhere on the interdimensional interwebs. Love you all! Hope you're staying safe.]

Comments

[incelligent]

Huh? But that's just stupid.

[...SWEATS NERVOUSLY]

What else could it possibly mean?

[unkindled_madness]

...you really don't know?

[How old is this person??]

[incelligent]

Ugh, no! No, I don't.

It doesn't make any sense.

[Not young enough to misunderstand the concept behind the term, but isolated.

From the ages of ten to eighteen, Simon has spent every waking moment of his life on a train with fantastical creatures, some other small children, and his friend Grace. That's a lot of pop culture he's missed out on, along with many other things, like discipline, boundaries... And well, love.

Healthy, normal relationships.]

Slang across universes shouldn't be this consistent. God, we're not even all from the same time period, for cryin' out loud! But when I use this particular word, everyone starts to laugh at me.

[And boy oh boy, does he hate that.]

I know I should look it up on the search engine doohickey or whatever, but what if the definition here isn't applicable to all the others? How am I supposed to

[He doesn't really act his age, though.

Simon has grown up without any parental guidance.]

UGGGGGH

[unkindled_madness]

[Not that Sephiroth had a normal upbringing either, but having spent nearly a decade in the company of young men at war...... yeah, there's certain slang you're going to pick up on.

He's never had to explain it though.

But, not explaining it would feel like contributing to some sort of ongoing prank at this person's expense. That's not his style either.]

It's a sexual term.

Meaning aroused.

1/3

[incelligent]

2/3

[incelligent]

3/3

[incelligent]

HUH???

[unkindled_madness]

I believe I was clear.

[If... succinct. If a more in-depth explanation is required, he really doesn't want to be the one to give it.]

i am so sorry

[incelligent]

B-but... IF that IS the true mEANIN g of

the word

[It's not as though he doesn't believe the guy...]

Why would they use that terminology? Is it because

[this is M O R T I F Y I NG]

of the physical similarities bet...ween...

[ ST. OP]

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth is really not sure why a person would replicate a stammer in their texting... Why broadcast your embarrassment?]

Probably. I've never thought about it.

Some people will take nearly anything to be phallic.

[He says, as a person accustomed to wielding a 7-foot sword.]

[incelligent]

[Because it is thinkytext, and because, oddly enough...

Simon is honest about all the wrong things.]

I see.

[Simon clears his throat-]

Thank you for your helpful input, mister... Or, weh, I dunno, I guess it could be miss, too-

[He reads the username.]

Sephiroth? Whoa-hoah! Cool name. 🤩

Sounds like you fight 👾s or somethin'.

[unkindled_madness]

[It's... been a while since anyone's commented on his name. People used to say it was strange. Then they decided it was better not to say anything.

"Cool" is a new one.]

It's just Sephiroth. "Mister" is unnecessary.

[And the surname he's been using isn't actually his.]

What is 👾?

[Some kind of... sea creature? He doesn't know.]

[incelligent]

Oh! It's just Simon for me, too. Some people started callin' me by my last name and I had to tell them to cut it out. Don't wanna be answering to somethin' that sounds like it's from the school principal. Eugh.

[He hasn't been to school for quite sometime.]

Oh! It's an alien, or a monster? Like one of the little guys in a video game. Usually, you shoot or nuke 'em before leveling up.

Ever played one of those?

[unkindled_madness]

No.

[Not that video games aren't a thing in his world, but the closest he's come to playing them are battle sims. Mostly, though, he's stuck to the real thing.]

I have fought monsters.

[incelligent]

Me too! Some are real big and scary, but most of them are kinda just annoying pests. We call them nulls where I'm from.

[He's... A little too excited to be discussing Train Murder butt like ok]

They stink! That's why you should just wheel 'em.

Some are actually pretty dangerous, though. Well! They all are, to a certain extent. Sometimes you just never know! But if you ask me? That just makes winnin' fights even better.

The tougher the battle, the greater the victory. ⚔️

[unkindled_madness]

[Monster killing is a totally normal thing to talk about. Sephiroth is just surprised by how talkative he is in general. So far it's more a curiosity than an annoyance.]

A challenge is always more enjoyable. [But, sadly, very rare for Sephiroth.]

Monsters seem a common occurrence where you come from. Were they that prevalent or was it your occupation?

[He seems young but lol Shinra and child soldiers.]

[incelligent]

[Simon, despite being an introvert, does love to talk, especially about things he loves- Like fighting and incapacitating monsters.]

Guess you could say yes to both of those lil questies ehe

[Questies? Please just say questions. Say the full word??? It's the same number of syllables]

As second in command of the Apex, it was my duty to protect other passengers from the dangers of the Train.

Nulls come in all shapes and sizes, and while some of them are bigger threats than others, none of them are to be trusted. They may not be real, but the damage they can cause is no joke. Make one mistake fallin' in line with one of those things, and bam- It's all over.

[unkindled_madness]

[Not real? Sephiroth isn't sure what that's supposed to mean in this context. However, it's not the part of this that really baffles him.]

Why was the train still running?

[Logically you really ought to shut down a train that's overrun with monsters until they can be properly eradicated.]

[incelligent]

Um, because it's always running.

[He tries to remember an old story.

Something he might have asked the Cat about when he was a child.]

And, as far as I know, since the beginning of its existence...

It always has.

[He types the words, not understanding why they come so easily. Like he's repeating them from memory.]

[unkindled_madness]

What you're describing sounds almost supernatural.

[...but it's a train. That's just human engineering, it's the opposite of supernatural.

He wonders if it's some bizarre difference of technology, or if "train," unlike "horny," actually refers to something very different in Simon's world.]

[incelligent]

In a way

[He looks down at his empty hand.

Green glow conspicuously absent.]

I guess it is.

But I've been there. It's a special place, and I

[Miss it terribly.]

I need to get back.

It's the only place I've ever lived where everything actually makes sense.

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth still doesn't understand the details, but... the fighting, maybe, is an easy way to live. Kill the enemy, and survive. It's simple.]

Circumstances change.

You'll have to learn to adapt.

[incelligent]

I already did.

[And it almost killed me the first time.]

It took me so long, too.

[unkindled_madness]

I meant to this place, and its rules.

[incelligent]

How's that workin' out for ya?

[Not entirely bitter! He's genuinely curious.

This person has been kind so far, reasonable. He seems to hold some similar world views, though these are all assumptions.]