SHITPOSTx20; OPEN

[incelligent]

I've got a question.

CONFIRM/DENY:

Horny (adj.) The state of having or possessing horns, somewhere on the person of someone or something.
Example: That big ol' rhinocerous right there? He's one horny guy.

P.S. Horn (n.) Not to be mistaken for a horned instrument. Think 👿 not 🎺
P.P.S. A rhinocerous or "rhino" for short is a mammal with thick skin and ivory tusks (horns) found in specific regions of my home world. For those of you who may not know what they are, here's a picture for reference. See what I mean? Big horny guys!

[*This post is open for anyone and all voicetesting! Take it as an old Meadowlark network post with the simon.laurent handle, or anywhere on the interdimensional interwebs. Love you all! Hope you're staying safe.]

Comments

[unkindled_madness]

[He keeps going back to that for some reason......]

If you need cheering up, I'm the last person to talk to.

[incelligent]

Sounds like you're the one who could use a little sunshine, my guy.

☀️☀️☀️

☺️

[unkindled_madness]

[what.]

I'm fine.

[incelligent]

'Kay! If you say so.

[unkindled_madness]

I do.

You shouldn't assume others share your needs.

[incelligent]

[That ruffles his feathers but then again, what doesn't.]

But everybody has them!

Needs, I mean.

[Even if they may not all be the same.]

[unkindled_madness]

Of course.

If I didn't I don't think I could call myself mortal.

[incelligent]

Well, what's one of yours?

[...Because not wanting to be happy just sounds bonkers to him.]

And don't say food or water, 'cause everybody needs those.

I'm askin' about you.

[unkindled_madness]

[No fair, Simon. Food and water should be legitimate answers. Some aliens don't need these things!

He thinks for a moment before deciding he's willing to answer:]

Autonomy.

[incelligent]

That's a big one.

Noted.

[unkindled_madness]

Not everyone would agree, apparently.

[Which has been an annoyance recently.]

[incelligent]

Yeah, well, those people are bonkers.

[unkindled_madness]

[That... actually almost makes him laugh.]

Well put.

[incelligent]

Why would you not want to have free will?

That's power.

[Over yourself, at least.]

[unkindled_madness]

I would agree.

Some people lead a charmed life, I suppose.

[incelligent]

Charmed? There's nothing charmed about bein' a slave to someone else.

[unkindled_madness]

I'm referring to those who've been able to depend on others to take care of them. That dependency, for them, isn't a prison.

[He thinks maybe this is what parents are supposed to do, but he wouldn't know.]

[incelligent]

What, you don't have any friends?

[unkindled_madness]

Certainly not by that definition.

[Like he's going to rely on Zack for anything personal.

...would have. Like he would have relied on Zack for...]

And, not here.

[incelligent]

That's just sad.

[Even Simon, though um, disaster and catastrophe sure bonds you to whoever happens to be readily available.]

Everybody's got at least one ride or die! Unless you grew up in a petri dish or somethin'.

[He's heard weirder.]

[unkindled_madness]

[...petri dish is weirdly in the right vein there, Simon.]

"Ride or die"?

[incelligent]

Y'know, your bestie! Your numero uno?

[It is just so horrible that he is using NONE of these terms ironically...]

Your person, basically.

[unkindled_madness]

A trusted friend, you mean.

Why do you assume everyone has one?

[incelligent]

'Cause if you don't you're a weirdo?

I'm pretty sure that's how people become supervillains.

[the dramatic Irony in this statement i-]

And even they've got their loyal henchies!

[Henchmen. Just say henchmen! Then again... Henchpeople? Henchies does seem fairly gender neutral.]

[unkindled_madness]

[Wow he knows he's weird but--]

So now I'm a supervillain.

Noted.

[Sephiroth no.]