incelligent | IC INBOX; POLYMYTHOS

Hrrrgh...

[The hairs on the back of Simon's neck bristle, an instinctive reaction to being touched by anyone who isn't Grace or a child underling, though the latter usually opts for a tug on the sleeve as opposed to an actual backpat. The growl he just let out is merely an overly aggressive reaction to what he's really experiencing, which is a wildly tingly feeling at the base of his stomach. Bathing friends may be normal for Akira, but for Simon, this is the first time that he can ever remember any fingers gracing his bare back. He has yet to remove his towel, but the water somehow manages to drizzle under it, leaving him with a damp sensation that is entirely uncomfortable.]

Ugh.

[While Akira goes on to rinse himself, Simon finally yanks off the accursed piece of wet fabric and thoroughly submerges himself in the standing liquid, leaving only his face and the top of his shoulders visible.]

Yeah.

[Boy does he sound disgruntled.

Simon is also grateful that the water is warm enough to heat the body, though not enough to burn because... His pouty face is still completely red. It's the hot water. It has to be the hot water!!!]

I usually don't spent that much time in here.

Edited 2021-06-07 02:31 (UTC)

_{[ Once Akira has rinsed himself off, he joins Simon, not allowing too much space between them even though they have plenty of room to spread out. He just didn't think anything of it since the baths back home are usually crowded, so it's just natural for him to sit next to the person that is his company. There's an exhale of relief; his eyes have fanned shut and he seemed completely captivated by the water. Akira falls silent. Nothing is heard besides some trickle of water and his steady breathing. ]}

Oh.. yeah.. it's impolite to let your hair touch the water too, so don't completely submerge yourself.

_{[ He doesn't open his eyes when he says this, but the smallest smile is on his face again. He likes bath time, okay. ]}

You should spend more time here. It might relax you a little.

Edited 2021-06-09 16:03 (UTC)

[There is a brief moment of silence between them, as Simon is distracted by the serenity of Akira's expression. This is the happiest the demon boy has been since they've both arrived here, and while Akira had been excited to talk about his powers and vanquishing enemies, this is such a calm tranquility, and so very different than that.

Simon doesn't make the connection as self awareness is not really his strong suit, but Akira looks... Well, for a lack of better words, beautiful.]

R-really? But mine's so long, I uh, o-oh...

[Simon turns away, running a hand over his head, feeling even more timid all of a sudden. He wants to admit something and talk about how relaxing is difficult for him, especially without his normal hobbies or even the comforting or wily nature of his best friend.

It is here that Simon comes upon a horrifying realization- What has he been able too do without Grace? Since they've met, even when he's made an intelligent tactical decision or led the Apex to victory, she had always been by his side.

That makes him feel like weeping, but he holds it in.]

...You think so?

[And then, quietly, as if it's under his breath-]

Would you come with me?

Edited (edits to make more gay) 2021-06-09 16:40 (UTC)

_{[ He peeps one eye open at that. ]}

You can tie it back up again. Just in case. I mean, I wouldn't want any of your hair to come off and get on other people in the water, right?

_{[ Right. That eye closes again and Akira shifts a little, his head lulling to one shoulder. ]}

You can at least try. Most people aren't good at it especially if they don't try. It's just human nature to worry. It's not that I don't worry, but I put myself in a space where I can relax cause it's healthy for you. A space like that is right now. I'm very relaxed.

Aren't you?

_{[ A pause, mulling over the question. ]}

I'm here now, right? So it would make sense to come with you here again.

Edited (typos ) 2021-06-09 17:00 (UTC)

[Simon awkwardly holds a clump of blond hair over his shoulder, desperately trying to follow the supposed rules of the naked pool party.]

Um, now that ya mention it...

[He too feels a sense of calm, nerves momentarily blighted by the warm water and the lack of clothing weighing him down. Sure, it's taken the nerdy boy a minute to stop worrying about the fact that his skin is completely bare and he's totally exposed to all the elements, naked and unprepared if a potential threat may dare to strike, but that's neither here nor there.

That and... Akira had vowed to protect him, didn't he?]

I think I am.

[Ooh boy, Simon can feel his cheeks burning. Thankfully, the other boy has said nothing about it.]

Cool, cool! 'Cause, like, being here is sorta nerve-wracking for me, when I'm on my own...

I know nobody probably cares, but! I just don't want someone weird to see me. I mean, I didn't even go to school past the fourth grade, so it's not like I'm used to puttin' it all out there before gym! Aha, hahaha...

_{[ Akira finally opens his eyes, but they open slowly, almost like he knows he's gonna regret this. He's breaking his serenity for talking about naked people with this nervous American. Why. ]}

It's just being naked, Simon. I understand where you're coming from if you're not confident about your body, but I don't understand if it has to do with how you're raised. It's just like this back home for me. But, I used to not be confident about myself at all and I would get shy at the bath house. I learned, though, if the people you're around don't mind, you shouldn't either. I'm sure you'll get accustomed to it if you bathe with people more often.

I would hate not going to school.

_{[ He's still bitter Satan had to go and encourage the apocalypse cause.. it put his academics on an indefinite hold. ]}

[Simon holds his breath, almost, unsure if the next few words should leave his lips. He's held them close to his chest for so many years now, buried them somewhere so deep within the dark recesses of his rotting heart, that he is now afraid to let them go.]

I was good at school. Used to be, anyway.

[Delivered in almost a whisper.

He recalls, the memory now faint and hazy, blurred by the test of time-]

School, numbers... It's the same deal. There are letter grades, scores... It's predictable. You crack the code, and then you're in. You pay attention and do the time and you're supposed to be okay.

[There was a stage with bright lights. Some older man bellowing over a loudspeaker. Simon had been so small the time that he had to stand on the tips of his toes sputtering into the microphone...

"Could you use it in a sentence?"]

But somehow I managed to blow even that.

[Losing the spelling bee, and in fact, coming in at second place instead of first, after all that work he'd done and joy he'd sacrificed?

It had given him his first bitter taste of something that he'd never forget, for as long as he lived- Defeat.]

'S not like I care. Not anymore.

Edited 2021-06-10 02:07 (UTC)

_{[ The way that Simon presents all of this.. Akira is thinking maybe he got expelled. Which, yeah, that would be really terrible.. and then there apparently is no school on the train. Akira doesn't even question what could have happened because it couldn't be anything else, right? ]}

Shit. That sounds terrible. I'm sorry. I don't know what I would do if something like that happened to me. I probably couldn't forgive myself.

_{[ A pause as he thinks over that last part. ]}

Yeah, that's probably the best option to just not care anymore.

_{[ says mr depresso espresso that doesn't care about shit ]}

[The sympathy is nice, surprisingly, and it doesn't fall on deaf ears. It occurs to Simon that after all these years, he still hasn't forgiven himself for losing that day. There was a point in time where he had come close, when he had just wanted nothing more than to go home and have another shot at things.

And then he had been abandoned.]

Sounds like that's what you've been doin'.

[Watching others, people who he can clearly see as separate from himself, make mistakes is... Well, something new. Grace isn't Simon, sure, but she and the Apex feel like extensions of his own identity at this point, so that distance is hard to establish.

With time however, even in the short while he has spent here, Simon unknowingly has stumbled upon hints of clarity.]

Listen. I don't know you that well, and... I'm not gonna pretend like I do.

But isn't it better to feel, I dunno, something? Even if it's anger, or hatred...

I just know I don't like this. The... Emptiness.

[It's why he is the way he is. Always searching for something to do, someone to fight, or even some kind of puzzle to solve.]

It gets better when I spend time with you, but then it just comes back again.

Hmm..

_{[ Akira idly draws his fingers along the surface of the water, trying to think of why that could be. It hits him a lot quicker than it should and he looks over at Simon. ]}

It's.. probably because I felt that way when I had everything taken from me at first, but time has lapsed since then so I've just become.. comfortably numb. Yeah. It does bite. You probably still know that your life is waiting for you back home, whereas me..

It's all gone and there's nothing I can do about it, so I can't help but feel this way... I have no option but to dwell day after day on how I could have changed things and maybe saved people and how much of a failure I am.

_{[ Akira takes in one of his shaking breaths, trying to ease any horrific memories out of his mind. ]}

I don't even know why you bother being my friend so much. I must be such awful company. I'm grateful, I really am.. but I think I'm still just so.. scared.

[Simon's eyes widen at that. Akira's words provide him with two things: Hope and a reluctant explanation. He should know better than to hold onto anything as foolish as that, but for a child who has always had one foot in reality and the other in a fantasy realm of his own creation, it's just enough of a scrap of affection to keep him clinging on.]

But you're not.

Awful, that is...

[Spoken by someone who knows. Wicked, wretched, these are all words one could use to describe Simon Laurent at his very core. Wheeling nulls has become something of a habit by now, as he's carelessly tossed so many creatures over the edge, but it wasn't always easy.

There was a time when it had felt, well, bad. And somehow, suddenly, he is reminded of it.

No.]

You're just sad.

[There is something cathartic about being around someone else whose sadness is so palpable, so tangible, so innate. Simon's troubles are usually quieted by an all too convenient explanation from Grace or some other preoccupation, but they never really talk. Not like this, not often.

And never for very long.]

You're still tryin' to help people even though it hurts.

[The words are uttered with confusion.]

I'm sorry.

[Simon says, without a drop of insincerity. For once, he has nothing to gain from this. Being surrounded by other people and gods and goblins, individuals who all need to figure things out... It's been eye-opening.]

I wish there was more I could do for ya. But I'm just a normal guy, so...

Bein' your friend is all I've got to offer.

I don't just help anyone. I don't like to help people anymore.. unless..

_{[ Akira trails off for a moment, tucking in his lower lip and nibbling on it as his eyes watch the water. This is a rough conversation to have, but because he's been vulnerable with Simon before, it makes it easier to be vulnerable again. ]}

Unless I feel like they're actually worth it.. and won't do anything wrong to me.

_{[ He finally pulls his dark eyes from the water to look over at Simon properly. ]}

Something about me made you really interested in me though. I just don't understand why, but.. thanks for not hurting me.

I don't think I could, even if I wanted to.

[Even for someone as wretched as Simon, that sort of thanks is uncomfortable. He's surmised thus far that being a demon has made him terrifying to humankind, and somehow the apocalypse had led to the entire human race turning on each other. The Infinity Train is not a kind place, but even so, as fucked up as their relationship is, Simon has always had Grace. He isn't aware of how tenuous and fragile their bond really is, and so he feels sympathy for the other boy.]

Uh-huh, Earth to demon boy, isn't it obvious? You're like the only other kid here.

[Simon may hate being referred to as a child by adults, especially when it's used to put him down, but in tender moments like these, he has the tendency to unwittingly reveal the truth.]

And I needed a friend, I've always needed-

[A friend. Love. Human connection.

Unfortunately, every taste he's had in his life thus far has been tainted. Poisonous.

What's worse is that he doesn't even know.]

I've also never met anyone else who was as sad as I am. Life's been hard for Grace too, but... Somehow she's always looks like she's havin' an easier time with it than I do.

Don't you just wish you could wake up one morning and suddenly feel okay?

_{[ Akira was a person of self sufficiency but that's only another side effect of Amon. Before that, he relied on Miki. In a way, he understands, but it's not something he can understand by feeling anymore. All he ever focused on was survival for himself and the human race because that was the right thing to do.

As Simon speaks, Akira turns his palms upward from beneath the waters surface, curving his fingers inward, pushing out his claws and looking at them. ]}

I don't want to feel okay.
I just want the people that actually matter to be okay.

How I feel shouldn't matter.

_{[ I probably deserve it for being a failure.
Although the way he talks is very confident without a beat or shake in his breath, tears pool over his eyes and his lashes fan shut the blink them away. He felt a lot of pressure all over his body from being in so much anguish— as if Amon could engulf him and possess him entirely any moment, but miraculously, he seems extremely calm. He's had his moments in the past to let out his anger when thinking about all of this. So much, he's not sure if he has any more anger to express. ]}

How you feel does matter.

[He resists the urge to reach out, mostly because they are super naked so that would be pretty weird. Simon tries to replicate those intentions with his voice, which is firm, direct, and surprisingly gentle.]

You can want the people you love to be safe and still be hurting too. That's... Life! It hurts. A lot! All the time.

It's normal.

[The blond shakes his head, catching a glimpse of those tears.]

You can cry, y'know.

I won't tell anybody.

[As much as Simon would like to forget, he does remember. Hell, he cried when he touched down on this very island.]

I don't cry.

_{[ He used to always cry but he doesn't anymore.. but it isn't for any toxic masc reason that we all may be thinking of. The tears are gone in an instant and he opens his eyes. ]}

I cried everything out of me about two years ago. I don't think I can ever cry that hard again. I'm all dried up.

_{[ A pause. ]}

... Yeah. I guess I do want the people I care about to be safe. Old habits die hard.

_{[ Which is indirectly saying he cares about you, Mr. Ratfink. ]}

[When Akira states that he doesn't cry, all Simon can think is that to some degree, he desperately relates. After bawling his eyes out one too many times between the ages of ten through twelve, he had sworn to move forward and grow into someone admirable and strong. The kind of person who could survive in the wilderness and hold his own...

Unfortunately, he just grew up to be an incel.]

Pfft, right.

[Simon's expression changes drastically, his mouth twisting to form a thin line and tone of voice dropping. The slimy fool is too dense to realize that he too is included in that umbrella of people whom Akira happens to care for.]

Your weird friend is here.

He is, but I don't have a pact with him, Simon.

_{[ Nope, not gonna outright say it. ]}

My association with him is complicated.

_{[ He's a special case. Definitely. ]}

I care about him, but when I first got here, I almost killed him. I can honestly say I'm not sure what to do about him, but I acted out in aggression. I'm deciding to approach him more carefully for now.

[ok so he's just gonna make a mental note that murder is on the table if he pisses akira off which... honestly for simon is a perfectly and supposedly Sane and Reasonable thing to do!!! if someone pisses you off > they bcum an enema or an enemy > and an enemy is a threat 2 b vanquished

#fatality]

Well, whatever happened between you two...

[nO SIMON!!! N O]

He seems to have some pretty strong feelings for ya.

[simon is counting on the fact that akira has a rock-like skull when it comes 2 some things lmfao bc... he doesn't want to get in trouble with the other evil blond]

We're childhood friends— of course he does.

_{[ and then they were room mates.
Akira wrinkles his nose and makes a face, recalling how Ryo acted when he first talked to Miki when he came looking for Akira. ]}

Simon, have you been talking to him? I warned you about him.

[That causes Simon to take some pause. On one hand, he'd agree, yet on the other? It sucks being the one with Feelings feelings.]

Cool it.

[His half-hearted response seems to imply that he doesn't think too highly of the Actual Devil of whom they speak.]

Spendin' time with that guy is like tryin' to chat up a wet blanket with long eyelashes... If the blanket were also somehow really mean.

And, I would know? I've talked to one. Uh... It's another weird train thing.

[there's gotta be a wet blanket denizen out there]

I can't say I like the guy, but I do feel kinda bad for him.

He totally misses you.

No, I won't cool it. He's dangerous. Extremely so. He just doesn't realize it. Even so, he still has threatened people that I care about before.

_{[ Ah. There's the hint again. ]}

Do whatever you want, but don't be upset if he ends up hurting you. And..

_{[ Akira takes in a sudden breath, though his voice is straying from remaining its usual calm and cold demeanor. He sounds a lot more prickly. ]}

H.. He doesn't deserve being my friend anymore. He deserves to die, but I can't find myself killing him. Not when he can't remember who he is and what he's done. He can have a fair fight with me. I guess he deserves at least that.

[Simon watches that bizarre myriad of emotions, slightly curious, but not enough to pry too harshly. His eyes narrow when Akira mentions Ryo's ruthless nature,]

Yeah.

[There's an air of confirmation to that one syllable.]

He seems like the type.

[Takes one to know one.]

Whatever he does, or doesn't do... I don't really give a hoot.

I've just got a feeling that he'd do anything to be close to you.

[He quirks a thin eyebrow upwards.]

And if he's a traitor, well...

Then he's lost that right.

Exactly. He has.

_{[ cue little scheming simon ratfink squeaking amirite ]}

I almost wish he would be conscious of his true power. That way I can fairly fight him.. and fairly tear him limb from limb.

_{[ OH ... just look at that snarl.. ]}

At the same time, we grew up together. We've always been friends. I have wondered if there is a way I could help him, but even so and I decide to spare him, things will never be the same between us. Not anymore.

[...That talk sets a few gears in motion.

It should speak to how selfish Simon is at his core that he perks up at this, despite the fact that Ryo's life is on the line. Perhaps it's true that the other blond has been nothing but demeaning and cruel towards him, but that doesn't warrant death, now does it?

Well, sure. And yet if that were to happen, say, by another hand...]

...Never?

[Now. It certainly wouldn't be Simon's fault.]

Edited 2021-06-18 03:40 (UTC)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

i'm laughing why is he so awkward

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

i can't believe simon laurent is speaking words that actually make a whole lot of fucking sense smh

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject