SHITPOSTx20; OPEN

[incelligent]

I've got a question.

CONFIRM/DENY:

Horny (adj.) The state of having or possessing horns, somewhere on the person of someone or something.
Example: That big ol' rhinocerous right there? He's one horny guy.

P.S. Horn (n.) Not to be mistaken for a horned instrument. Think 👿 not 🎺
P.P.S. A rhinocerous or "rhino" for short is a mammal with thick skin and ivory tusks (horns) found in specific regions of my home world. For those of you who may not know what they are, here's a picture for reference. See what I mean? Big horny guys!

[*This post is open for anyone and all voicetesting! Take it as an old Meadowlark network post with the simon.laurent handle, or anywhere on the interdimensional interwebs. Love you all! Hope you're staying safe.]

Comments

[incelligent]

Oh, well, um, nobody's ever read it before, so

[John had disappeared before he had gotten to.]

Did you say family?

[Oh no.

What is that weird, jittery feeling in his stomach? Are those butterflies? Shoot.]

And you like to take care of people.

I guess I do, too?

[LIAR tho he thinks he is telling the truth. What the really likes is feeling needed, feeling like the hero. Feeling like he won't be left behind because he is useful-]

I've always liked being part of a team.

[mrfuckwit]

if it's something personal i don't have to read it, but if you want it share it with someone, i'll read it

i only take care of the people that i think matter now

<sub>[ He'll leave it at that. And nowadays, he doesn't care about anyone, so.. he's sort of realizing how much his purpose and passion in life relied on things that don't exist anymore.

Not gonna panic, though. ]</sub>

maybe you can show me how to write a story sometime
i think i need some different hobbies

_{[ Something to maybe help him feel more lively again. ]}

[incelligent]

Oh no, that's not it! I'd love to. It's just that it's kinda long? Lotsa pages. I've been workin' on it for years now.

[He notes that soft little sentiment. Simon feels the same. It's hard to trust people right away.]

Sure! I'd like that. Sounds like fun!

You ever heard of a game called Chambers and Centaurs?

[mrfuckwit]

no
but i'd kick your ass at it

_{[ WOW SUCH CONFIDENCE ]}

and i'm a bookworm, remember? a lot of pages don't scare me.. bring it on 🔥

[incelligent]

[Simon lets out an actual chuckle at that. A real, natural laugh.

It's a sound he himself hasn't heard in a long time.]

No, it's not really about winning! Or well, sort of.

It's like writing a story, only with a big group of people! I mean, there's a dice and some rules and all that, but it's so much fun! I haven't really played in a while.

Think of it as a big game of make-believe? Sounds dorky, I know, but I swear!

It's the best. Especially with a good group.

[Wow. This feels nice.

Normal, even.]

I don't have it with me right now, but I hear that sometimes you just wake up with things from back home.

If that ever happens to me and my novel somehow magically appears, presto-change-o, you'll be the first to know.

[mrfuckwit]

can't you just get some dice and just make your own rules?
why does it need to follow a specific set?

_{[ Is he encouraging Simon to brand his own D&D game? Yeah, sure. ]}

[incelligent]

I mean I could, but

These days I've sorta been maxin' out my brain power on things like, gee, I dunno, tryin' to stay alive???

[mrfuckwit]

_{[ wow, sorry karen ]}

alright well
guess i'll just have to come up with something

_{[ THIS GUY.. WHO KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT D&D...
can you imagine.. rolls a 20 just to touch some tiddies ]}

[incelligent]

Maybe we could try to figure something out together.

[...It would also give Simon an excuse to spend more time with his cool new friend.]

[mrfuckwit]

my character will be
a man who is also part demon
conquers mankind
damns the souls of wicked
8 pack abs
everyone recognizes him as the hero
defeats satan
becomes ruler of the universe

_{[ AKIRA.. thats just a self insert gary stu.. ]}

[incelligent]

So...

A Queefling?

[Tiefling. Infinity Train terms.]

Yeah! Sure. Whatever floats your boat, buddy.

[Simon isn't actually judging bc... His fantasy self is equally as self aggrandizing and ridiculous.]

[mrfuckwit]

_{[ H ELP ]}

no, a demon!
just like i said

_{[ um they would argue over something dumb like this ... ]}

what's your guy like?

[incelligent]

They've got horns 'n funny little tails too! It's basically the same thing. Honestly, it's a fancy schmancy name, but they're just demons. I think they started callin' them that after making merch and havin' angry religious people show up at big tabletop gatherings.

[...Eep.]

My character?

Um, my favorite one is probably the main guy from my fantasy novel. The Lord of Esmoroth?

[mrfuckwit]

can he breathe fire?

i hate that i had to write this whole tag

[incelligent]

Well, no, but-

[Look who's getting testy now, GOD, rip]

That's not the point!

The Lord of Esmoroth is a seasoned general who was thrust into power at a young age because the Evil Witch Samantha Kittywhiskers-

[SIMON NOTHING ABOUT THAT IS SUBTLE AT ALL!!!]

Betrayed the kingdom and underhandedly massacred the royal family with her stupid and confusing witchy abominations! With nobody left to lead the army or hold the crown, he had to find his way on his own.

No powers. No fire-breathing! Just... Practice. Hard work. Resilience.

Things like that.

[A beat.]

It's the dragons that breathe fire, but... They can't talk.

[mrfuckwit]

that's cool!
i like it!

_{[ That's it! The simple response. But it's sincere. He's invested. ]}

[incelligent]

[Uh

w-wh

❤️❤️❤️❤️]

You really think so?

[That could've gone so much worse. So much worse.

If he wasn't fully latched on before, Simon definitely is now. Oh no.]

Gee, thanks.

It's not quiiite finished yet. I'm only about three-fourths of the way through book one? And I'm plannin' on makin' it a trilogy. Right now I'm still knee-deep in the origin story.

[mrfuckwit]

you must have a lot of inspiration to write like that.. that's a pretty ambitious goal..
i hope you can finish all of it

[incelligent]

Um, just between you 'n me?

[...Simon, this is an unprivated interaction. Everyone can see it.]

It's so fun that I don't even know where all the time goes when I start puttin' pen to paper. Couldn't tell ya. Beats me!

It... It doesn't ever feel like that long.

[mrfuckwit]

it's your passion then.. i get that way when i read.. sometimes a whole day goes by and i don't realize it

_{[ oh.. soft.. ]}

either that or when i'm tearing demons apart
the day goes by quickly when i do that too

_{[ oH .. LESS SOFT ... ]}

[incelligent]

[They're both like this, though arguably, Simon is even worse.]

I hear you! Whenever I'm toe to toe with a null in combat, whether it's wheelin' or whackin' 'em-

[He shrugs on his end.]

It's the best.

I get that it's dangerous, but that just adds to the thrill.

Makes each victory even sweeter, y'know?

[mrfuckwit]

what's a null?
like
whack a null

_{[ WHACK A MOLE, AKIRA .. ]}

[incelligent]

It's a Train thing.

[Literally, a sentient thing on the Train.]

A threat. Not to be trusted.

They come in different shapes and sizes, but if you're talkin' about character? They're all the same.

Most of the time you can just pass 'em by, but if they get in the way?

They need to be eliminated.

[mrfuckwit]

oh yeah the train thing
well if they were that dangerous that's pretty noble of you

_{[ AKIRA NO!! look he doesn't understand.. ]}

the demons i fought also came in a lot of shapes and sizes.. different powers.. but they were always menacing and out to hurt people

how did you eliminate them?

[incelligent]

They're all pretty different, and even though the Apex does have a few standard procedures in place for particularly sticky situations, it's a play it by ear sorta thing.

Tackling a seven foot vulture isn't the same as stompin' on a few lava moles. Mostly, you gotta work with what you've got.