APPLICATION; warning: spoilers it s3

[incelligent]

PLAYER INFO

Name: Icki
Age: 27
Contact: manscapingg @ plurk
Current Characters: None!

CHARACTER INFO

Name: Simon Laurent
Journal: incelligent
Age: 18
Appearance: Here!

Canon: Infinity Train
Canon Point: At the end of season 3 episode 4.

History: Please see the appearance section!

Abilities: Simon, much to his chagrin, possesses no superpowers. His time on the Infinity Train has allowed him to develop a few unique skills, one of which being hand to hand combat. Simon's fighting style relies on his speed and agility, and he is shown using surroundings to propel himself through the air with ease. He can also scale walls and climb great heights with little to no gear. Lastly, he is quite the wilderness and survival geek, often spouting off many a fact to warn the others in his company of danger, and has experience roughing it in sparsely populated areas.

Questionnaire:

1. What do they care deeply about? What kind of loyalties, commitments, moral codes, life philosophies, passions, callings or spirituality and faith do they have? How do these tend to be expressed?

Simon sees himself as something of a hero, although his actions prove that he is anything but.

Much of Simon’s current morality was shaped by a series of events that occurred during his deeply traumatic childhood. At the tender age of ten, a young Simon Laurent found himself aboard the Infinity Train, an Eldritchian horror vehicle with an infinite number of train cars, each home to its own little worlds and native non-human life forms. With no explanation or clues save for the glowing green digits in the palm of his hand, Simon was forced to brave the dangers of the train on his own, his first alliance ending in tragedy.

While being chased by one of the train’s most frightening monstrosities, Simon’s morally dubious feline companion left him for dead, never even returning once she realized he wasn’t beside her. This isolated incident has left Simon with a deep personal hatred for all of the train’s denizens, which becomes a key tenet of his blind faith. He is saved by Grace and is surprised to learn that her number is far higher than his, and dooms himself by asking her a question that will dictate his choices for the rest of his life-

“How’d you get it so high?”

To which she responds that she is just really good at the Train. Unfortunately for both of them, numbers correlate to emotional issues, and they are supposed to go down to zero so that passengers can then return to their daily lives.

Together, Grace and Simon go on to form and lead the Apex, a band of child soldiers whose sole purpose is to live a wanton life of hedonism while getting and keeping their numbers as high as possible. Simon is obsessed with watching his number climb, equating numbers to power, taking every chance to inform Grace that it’s gone up, though he can never beat her supposed “score.” Simon’s personal vendetta against denizens also informs the Apex’s ideology, as they refer to denizens as “nulls,” because they aren’t passengers with numbers, and that makes them as good as nothing. Just toys for the Apex to play with or dangerous enemies to be put down. This black and white perspective permeates Simon’s thinking on a subconscious level, as all of those who wronged him are categorized as foes to be vanquished, and can’t possibly be worthy of the benefit of the doubt.

Simon takes his role as a leader very seriously, as it makes him feel important. Due to his near-death experience when he was a little boy, Simon does everything possible to divorce himself from that kind-hearted and frightened tiny person, as if proving to himself and others that he didn’t deserve to be left behind. He wears the mark of the Apex over his nose and on his gear, proudly spouting their spiel to any human child within earshot, even if it’s inappropriate or crazy-sounding. The mark he wears is in the shape of a sine wave, inspired by the belt of a passenger with a high number of who supposedly saved Grace’s life when she was a child. Hilariously, this passenger was not the conductor of the train at all, and simply another human named Amelia who was not even aware of Grace’s existence. Simon may draw that sine wave over his nose every morning in red lipstick like an idiot, but the “cause” he so fiercely adheres to is just a lie, spread by two children who grew up without protection or adult guidance.

Why would he ever want to change when this is the only method that has worked so far to protect him from the horrors of loneliness and sudden death? Being one of the commanders of the Apex has given him purpose and made him useful, and has prevented him from being nothing.

Because without it, that’s all he is- Nothing.

Null and void.

Or so Simon believes.

2. What kind of person could they become in the future? What are some developmental paths that they could take: best, worst, most likely?

Simon’s worst possible outcome is what ultimately occurs in the series. When confronted with the truth about numbers, Simon’s stubborn refusal to abandon his beliefs and inability to change results in him lashing out at the few people who loved him. Despite Grace’s heroic attempt to save Simon one last time, his grief manifests as anger which he directs at her, and as a result is killed by the very thing that broke him in the first place.

Let us imagine an alternate reality, however, in which this frightened and neglected child is given reliable adult role models and actual boundaries, all while being kept safe. What if he were to form connections with others who struggle as he does, instead of constantly feeling like he will never match up to his strong and bewilderingly competent best friend? Simon’s best case scenario would involve owning up to his mistakes and returning to the train to get his number down to zero, but as that would ultimately require years of introspection with the help of a professional therapist, Simon’s most likely developmental path would be somewhere in the middle.

What instead may transpire is a gut-wrenching exploration of confusion and self discovery, in which Simon’s newfound relationships with other people provide him with tools to slowly heal some painful emotional wounds that he didn’t even realize were present in the first place. If they can change, so can he, and if anything…

Simon loves albeit selfishly and problematically, but very deeply. His loved ones will have his unwavering loyalty and support, no matter what.

Provided that they never dare to betray him.

3. How do they behave within a group? What role(s) do they take? Does this differ if they know and trust the group, versus finding themselves in a group of strangers? Why?

Despite his less than stellar personality, Simon is actually a remarkable team player. Used to working in groups, he is most comfortable taking a backseat or support role in these situations, even though he has not-so-secretly always yearned to be the one calling the shots. He likes to have his opinions respected and certainly reacts poorly to being dismissed or undervalued, but at the end of the day, Simon is practical and goal-oriented, so even if he is forced to collaborate with strangers, he usually cooperates provided that the situation turns out favorably for him. Since the Apex consists of a rag-tag bunch of kids, Simon is also a firm believer in the fact that anyone and everyone has something they can contribute to a group effort, regardless of background. In this way, he’s is fairly nonjudgmental and even easy to partner with. He may show signs of discomfort if he has to work with a person he hates, but as is seen in episode 5 of the series, Simon collaborates with a null despite his hatred of her. Although he literally does away with her later, he can fight alongside someone he despises provided that there is something in it for him.

For people he trusts, it’s a different ballgame entirely. Simon prides himself on his ability to keep a team together, and if they are all people he trusts or respects, he will do everything to make sure that nobody gets left behind. The Apex sticks together and anyone he views as worth his time is Apex in Simon’s book. For these scenarios, Simon will view each accomplishment as a victory, and each unsuccessful mission as a lesson to learn from or even a bonding exercise. Since Simon has only had one close friend his whole life, he takes relationships very seriously. While it can be difficult, if Simon does find it within his heart to care for someone, he will risk his life for that person and support them in any endeavor. This may sound noble, but Simon is a man of extremes and is not even vaguely above making questionable decision to keep his loved ones safe. This is where things tend to go awry, but on the Infinity Train, it’s kill or be killed- and if you do kill, be prepared for your number to skyrocket. Seeing as numbers are power for Simon, he fails to see this as a problem.

4. What do they need and want out of relationships, and how do they go about getting it?

What Simon yearns for most, more than anything else, is partnership, love, and acceptance. He wants to have the kinds of relationships he can count on and in turn he will offer his whole heart, often going to great lengths to keep these bonds alive, even if it hurts him. Simon is not the kind of person who is comfortable being alone, and instead romanticizes the idea of being one half of a whole, forever and ever, until he grows old and things go dark. Being forever tethered to a partner in crime means that there will always be another person to keep him safe, unlike the time the Cat left him.

While that may not sound so bad, Simon will stop at nothing to keep an iron-fisted grip on the loved ones who do give him the time of day. As a result he is clingy and possessive, knowing full well that he is unpleasant and has difficulty understanding what others are thinking, and will often quietly and nefariously eradicate whatever obstacles he perceives are in his way. He ignores whatever remorse he does feel in these moments, rationalizing his actions by bending the truth and blaming others.

It must be noted here that while these behaviors are horrifying, Simon has not had one single healthy relationship since he stepped foot on the train. While he and Grace are inseparable, their relationship began when she saved him, and she often uses Simon’s unrequited romantic feelings for her against him, making sure to play with his hair or refer to him by cute pet names to get him to do what she wants. Additionally, because the Cat abandoned him as a child, Simon fears that his anxiety and nerdy tendencies make him unpleasant and unlovable, uncool and unlike his best friend. How could someone love a person so broken and afraid? If Simon discovers that it is possible, his fate would change dramatically.

5. How do they understand the world–what kind of worldview and thought processes do they have? Why?

For Simon, the world is a cruel and dangerous place, so it is important to be strong. His musical cues and choice of words reference several military themes, extending even to his hobbies. Simon creates miniatures by hand with wood and paint, but they are all soldiers. He has written his own self-insert fantasy novel, but it focuses mainly on battles. It is implied that since he spends so much time indulging in these worrisome forms of escapism, he has a poor grip on reality.

Simon is, in essence, the worst kind of control freak. He associates uncertainty with death, the worst thing of all, as his childhood trauma has never been professionally addressed. So, he does everything he can to chase power, because if he is the kind of man who is strong enough to vanquish his enemies, he will have the ability to control his fate. This mentality exhibits how self-centered and immature Simon can be, as any opposition is treated with zero empathy and disregarded entirely. However, Simon does not believe that strength is limited to men or those with strong bodies, oh no! Far from it. In his mind, anyone can be strong, whether you are tall or small, no matter how you identify, or where you come from. You just have to be willing to stop at nothing to achieve it.

6. How much do they rely on their minds and intellect, versus other approaches like relying on instinct, intuition, faith and spirituality, or emotions?

Simon is very explicitly a Brain, although he’d love to be blessed with some more brawn. Apex dogma aside, when Simon doesn’t fall prey to his anxiety or tendency to overthink situations, he excels at problem solving as has been mentioned in the teamwork prompt. That being said, when his emotions have gone awry and his mental instability rears its ugly head, the seemingly nebbish blond is prone to making poor choices and succumbing to his pain. Instead of thinking about why he may be at fault, Simon tends to blame other people, and combats his own internal suffering by acting out. In this way, Simon’s approach to situations depends on a delicate balance between his innate intelligence and consistently floundering mental health.

7. What is something others might find intolerable about them?

Simon’s harsh circumstances have left him a bitter and resentful mess, but his two least tolerable qualities are his stubbornness and lack of empathy. As has been addressed in the previous prompts, Simon exhibits difficulty when it comes to changing his mind and will do everything to avoid accountability. One insidious trait we haven’t touched on thus far is his ability to switch from a seemingly fun-loving and jokey goober to someone cold and heartless in a manner of seconds. Simon’s love and support is comforting, provided that he likes someone. He is open with his praise and consistent with his encouragement, but oppose or insult him and he will not hesitate to use your insecurities against you, not even blinking an eye or lifting a finger if he makes an enemy cry.

The sharp contrast between these two modalities raises several questions. Is Simon’s ruthless side who he really is at his core? While some may answer yes, the more accurate answer is more complex than that. When Simon is with his friends or exploring train cars, he is that silly kid with corny jokes and a curious mind, and while these traits may endear him to Grace, they are also why she teases him constantly. In reality, Simon is both- An analytical and unforgiving scoundrel and a normal boy, whose silliness and dedication to his friends is actually likable. Unfortunately, the tragedy that is Simon’s life leads him to lean towards evil, and while no one is responsible for that other than Simon himself, he could be nudged in the other direction.

Samples: One | Two | Three (This technically should come with a nsfw warning? No mentions of actual body parts or foolishness, Simon just wrote an anon flame review for a smut novel)

Why are you interested in this game? In short, there's nothing like it out there in the dwrp-scape. Thanks for all your patience mods, and good luck to you! I can't imagine that reading all these apps and having to choose will be easy.